My wife's insecurities

I finally figured out why my wife didn't want me to get handlebars. It's not because I look foolish, it's because she's afraid she will lose me. Don't worry honey, I'm not going to leave no matter how many times I get hit on now. That's why she didn't want to go to the grocery store last night, she was afraid that I might have my clothes ripped off by women that couldn't control themselves.

I just thought of something else, if the Vikings win their playoff game on Sunday while I have the handlebars, I might have to keep them until they lose. I don't want to jinx them. Handlebars and Zubaz, Yeah I know, I'm pretty cool.