Animal Humane Society Walk for Animals:

Animal Humane Society Walk for Animals:

Animal Humane Society Walk for Animals:

Animal Humane Society Walk for Animals:

BASEBALL SEASON IS HERE

Ray, people will come Ray. They'll come to Iowa for reasons they can't even fathom. They'll turn up your driveway not knowing for sure why they're doing it. They'll arrive at your door as innocent as children, longing for the past. Of course, we won't mind if you look around, you'll say. It's only $20 per person. They'll pass over the money without even thinking about it: for it is money they have and peace they lack. And they'll walk out to the bleachers; sit in shirtsleeves on a perfect afternoon. They'll find they have reserved seats somewhere along one of the baselines, where they sat when they were children and cheered their heroes. And they'll watch the game and it'll be as if they dipped themselves in magic waters. The memories will be so thick they'll have to brush them away from their faces. People will come Ray. The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been baseball. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. It has been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt and erased again. But baseball has marked the time. This field, this game: it's a part of our past, Ray. It reminds of us of all that once was good and it could be again. Oh... people will come Ray. People will most definitely come.

top five days of the year.

1. TODAY....the first day of the NCAA tourney is the best day of the year...cause this is wear young boys turn into men.

2. Opening day of the football season....cause I get to wear my Viking Zubaz again

3. Super bowl Sunday....cause I like food

4. X-mas....cause it's X-mas, duh

5. Opening day of the baseball season...Spring is in the air

BPB...out

SEE YA SUCKERS

We are off to Florida. It's about time today got here. It is zero degrees right now and by two it will be 80. I would like to give a shout out to all my freezing their ass off peeps. I will be thinking about you. I may even bring some sand back for you all.

BPB...out

I'm old

Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me, I live in a zoo, I look like a monkey and I smell like one too.

Weekly weigh in

I'm not going to weign in this week because I know I will not like the results.

BPB...out

February Sucks

I really hate the month of february as you could probably tell from my title. Football season is over and the NCAA b-ball tourney doesn't start until the middle of March. But thing I hate most about February is that it's still winter and I am sick of it. It just depresses me. I lose most of my motivation, it's a struggle to do things that I normally love to do. I think I probably suffer from that SAD disorder where you don't get enough light. I truly believe I am solar powered, so the less sun I get, the less Jeff there is. I wroked today in the sun and it gave me enough energy to finally blog(which I'm sure my fans are grateful), it also gave me enough energy to make dinner and go play b-ball tonight. I may even shave!! I could also get a haircut, but I think I need another day in the sun for that to happen.


BPB...out

Weekly weigh in

I am now at 206.4.....a loss of .4 pounds for the week thanks mostly to the poopy I took right before weigh in. I need to get more motivated. I need the freaking sun to come out because I am solar powered.

BPB...out

Darwin would be 200 today.

The mastermind behind the theory of evolution would be 200 today. I saw a poll today that says that only 39% of americans believe in evolution. It still boggles my mind that so many people do not believe in evolution. Then we wonder why our country is on a downward spiral. Some people say that evolution is just a theory, guess what, so is fucking gravity. The people who don't believe in evolution argue that they just have a different BELIEF. It would be like me saying that I believe that women get pregnant by ants who carry little bitty babies into their wombs at night. No, I don't have any facts to supprt it, don't need to, it's my BELIEF. The main people who disagree with evolution are the church goers. I have no problem with people who go to church, I often attend myself. It can be a good experience, and it does make you think about things. But just because I attend doesn't mean I HAVE TO BE AN IDIOT. I still have a brain. I guess that's why I attend a church where they deal with more real life issues.


BPB...out

just a few reasons I am awesome

i use all my milk with my cereal

i like coors light

my wife is freakin awesome

I'm street strong

I pee standing up

BPB...out

Weekly weigh in

I weigh exactly what I weighed two weeks ago. Not bad considering my superbowl party and the fact that I didn't move for two days afterward. This week it's back to business.

How to fix a printer.

So I was trying to print out my invoices today and the printer wasn't working properly. So here is how I fixed it step by step.

1. It says that there is a paper jam so take paper out and put back in. Repeat 20 times.

2. Have your significant other try. Repeat five times.

3. Start swearing.

4. Casually throw office chair.

5. Unplug everything from the printer and throw it onto bed.

6. Put your hands in the place where paper goes and say cmon you stupid MFer.

7. Hit printer repeatedly while cursing.

8. Put everything back together.

Problem solved.

BPB...out

finally recovered

I'm finally recovered from the weekend. Just in time because the weather is warming up and I'm ready to get some work done. I'm debating if I should wear shorts tomorrow. hmmm

BPB...out

WAITING TO KICK SOME ASS!!

So after being really proud of the boy's grade last week, he of course has to ruin it. I haven't looked online for awhile because he was doing so well. I looked today and saw that he missed, not one, not two, not three, but four freaking assignments last week. He's in for a world of hurt. By the time he's ungrounded, his hair will be out of style. GRRRR....DAMN KIDS!!!!!!

Drunk Blog

So I'm pretty drunk right now. Anything said in this blog cannot be held against me. I really don't know what I'm about to write.......and I don't know if thats good or bad. I think my wife is the greatest person I know(sorry Nick)... I think I should tell her that I think that..oh wait, I guess I just did... I think that Austin/Paco/Smells is a great kid even though he didn't videotape my polar plunge!!!! I think that sometimes I am tough on Smells, but it's because I care. It's tough being a step-dad, but i try to be fair.....I think our dog Randi is the best dog ever, and I treat her like she's our baby.... I learned that Nick can't have a taco unless he has his fancy lettuce.... I like Coors Light!!! I'm still trying to figure out why they didn't review the last play of the super-bowl..... Rumor has it that I throw the best super-bowl party ever....I think I am an emotional guy, I'm not afraid to cry at movies or anything emotional that grabs my heart.....I'm tearing up right now because I'm listening to our song "the day before you" by Rascal Flatts. Did I mention that Jaime is the best person I know....Oh yeah I did....I wish I had a relationship with my daughter. I've tried everything and it's still not enough......I'm watching Randi right now and she is sleeping like a person, she has her head on the pillow and is totally sprawled out. I often wonder how randi is made??? We had a bunch of kids over today and I realy want a baby....I will teach that baby how to videotape a polar plunge....

BPB...out

Weekly weigh in

NOt so good this week. Jumped on scale and it read 206.0 for a weekly weight loss of .8 pounds. I shouldn't be too surprised since I had 20 pounds of yummy enchildas. I ate so many last Saturday that I wasn't able to function properly. All in all not a great week but I still the weight went down.

cheer me up

Whenever I am in a somewhat bad mood, I just think of this pic and it always puts a smile on my face.

We don't live in the valley

Anyboy who has a LIKE tennager will LIKE totally undetstand what this LIKE blog is about. The boy has now LIKE started to say this word LIKE way too much. LIKE it is getting ridiculous. Not only LIKE does he say it when he is LIKE talking, he LIKE says it when he LIKE is texting us. Are you LIKE fricken kidding me. Here's a recent LIKE text from him. "Can LIKE ben come over." He must of thought we wouldn't LIKE understand him if he LIKE didn't put that.

BPB...LIKE out

hmmm

I just figured out that we waste $150 a year on milk that the wife and the boy dump into the sink after eating cereal. They dump out more than they use. That's nine cases of Coors Light we could be buying.

BPB...out

technology

Austin got a ipod touch a few months ago, and now he has given me his old ipod. I'm still trying to figure it out, but I'm sure it will be worth the frustration. Where else could I have Nick Lachey, Bon Jovi, Rascal Flatts, Josh Groban, Andrei Bocelli, Boys II Men, Def Lepard, and countless other fabulous musicians at my fingertips. I will no longer have to lug the big boom box around the house. I can be just like all all teenagers and wear it all the time, so I don't have to pay attention to anybody.

BPB... i'm out

NOT YET

These are the boys favorite words. "Hey boy, did you do your homework? " he replies "not yet." "Hey smells, did you do your chores?" he replies "not yet" So yesterday I asked him why he always says that and he says he says its because he was just about to do these things just before I ask. Typical teenage response. But being a much wiser parent I said. "so yesterday when were leaving to go somewhere and we are already in the garage about to go into the vehicle and we asked if you brushed your teeth and you said "not yet", that means you were just about to go back into the house in do it just before we asked." Nice try smells. Oh to be a know it all teenager again filled with excuses.

BPB...out

1ST WEEK WEIGH IN

I am pleased to annouced that I jumped on the scale and I now weigh 206.8. I weight loss of 3.4 pounds for the week. That's pretty good since I only worked one day. I would like to thank oranges and soup for making this happen. I think this means I can pig out on chicken enchilads(also known as mmmmchiladas) tonight.

BPB...out

Why kids are lazy and stupid.

It's because their parents are lazy and stupid. The kids have no choice because they watch their idiotic parents do stupid ass shit all day. I go to drop the boys off at school and there is a big lineup into the parking lot. I sat there and watched as car after car dropped their kid off at the door, one at a time. God forbid you pull up a little farther so three cars can drop there kids off at the same time and make your obese kids walk an extra 10 feet. Yesterday at the Y, there were two guys talking right in the doorway to the locker room. So I stood there and they acted like it was an inconviencene to move so I could get in, and also to get out. Fucking morons. Then there are the parents that have no clue. When you go to the sate fair or a sporting event and these idiots walk diagonally with a dumbass look on their face. And don't even get me started on popcorn chompers at the movies. I could go on and on, but that's enough for today.

BPB...OUT

Last nights timeline.

5:30 Fill up Coors Light Mug

7:00 start watching american idol

7:42 let Jaime turn up heat to 70 (I must be feeling pretty good. I tell her she can have it on for 1 hour and 18 minutes)

8:30 sing Michael Jackson's THE WAY YOU MAKE ME FEEL to Jaime after hearing it on AI.

8:31 I am truly disapointed when Jaime says I shouldn't be on AI

8:32 Fill up Coors Light Mug

9:13 Jaime comes out of the bathroom and all she can see is a broom dancing and me singing BABY COME BACK. I think I'm pretty cool.

9:40 I feel really hot, I realize James has taden advantage of me because the heat is still set at 70.

11:30 go to bed

F*CK IT

So that's how I am feeling right now. I usually don't drink during the week, but I just filled my Coors Light Mug with Bacardi Lemon and 7-up. I'm sick of this cold-ass weather. I'm sick of waiting for contractors to pay me. I'm sick of winter period. Everybody I know is having a shitty week. So I decided that I will take one for the team and drink for all my peeps who are having a shitty week.

diet time

I think its diet time. I just jumped on the scale and I wasn't pleased with what I saw. I won't go crazy with it, but just lose a couple pounds a week. I'm pretty sure I gained 10 holiday pounds. I ate alot and didn't poay basketball because its closed for the holidays. I played this mourning and I am already sore. I think mygoal is to lose 20 pounds. I weigh 210.2 pounds as of today. I feel more energized when I'm below 200. I'm sure Nick is making lowfat pizza tonite and I will be drinking coors LIGHT so that should help my cause.

Finally over it?????

I think I am finally over the Vikings loss on Sunday. As long as nobody brings it up and gets me going again. I still believe Childress should be fired, and tortured in some non-life threatning way. I was thinking paper cuts all over his body and then pouring vinegar on him. Or making him sit in 1st grade so he can learn to use a clock. Better yet he should come over to clean up all the dog shit in our backyard(and the Dians and walleks), since I have had to put up with all the bull-shit coming out of his mouth for the last three years. HMMM...maybe I'm not completely over this yet.

BPB...OUT

GAMEDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Skol, Vikings!Let's win this game.Skol, Vikings!Honor your name.
Go get that first down,then get a touchdown.Rock 'em... Sock 'em...Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
Skol, Vikings!Run out the score;You'll hear us yell for more.V-I-K-I-N-G-S!Skol, Vikings, let's go!


YEAH YEAH YEAH WOOHOO, BIG DAY, GET FIRED UP BOYS, EIGHT HOURS TILL KICKOFF

CL is tricky

I like Coors Light, but it can be tricky. Sometimes I can drink it forever and barely feel a thing, but sometimes like last night I only had a handful and I got pretty drunk. Oh well life goes on.

Commom Sense??????

I figured out why Target's stock price is falling. It's January 2nd and we went there to buy a pair of boots for the boy and they don't carry them anymore because there getting ready for the summer seasson. HMMM....IT'S FREAKIN 4 ABOVE WITH WINDCHILL BELOW ZERO, THERE'S A FOOT OF SNOW OUT THERE, IT SOUNDS LIKE THE PERFECT TIME FOR THE SUMMER SEASON. We still have at least three more months of this crap. Get a clue Target. Lucky for us we were able to overpay for a pair of boots at Gander Mountain.